November202012
"True," said Dupin, after a long and thoughtful whiff from his meerschaum, "although I have been guilty of certain doggerel myself.”

"True," said Dupin, after a long and thoughtful whiff from his meerschaum, "although I have been guilty of certain doggerel myself.”

November162012
‘It’s peculiar to me,’ she said, ‘that everybody pays so much attention to living and so little to dying. Why are these high-powered scientists always screwing around trying to prolong life instead of finding pleasant ways to end it? There must be a hell of a lot of people in the world like me who want to die but haven’t got the farts—’
‘I know what you mean,’ I said; ‘I know exactly what you mean.’
Neither of us said anything for a couple of seconds.

‘It’s peculiar to me,’ she said, ‘that everybody pays so much attention to living and so little to dying. Why are these high-powered scientists always screwing around trying to prolong life instead of finding pleasant ways to end it? There must be a hell of a lot of people in the world like me who want to die but haven’t got the farts—’

‘I know what you mean,’ I said; ‘I know exactly what you mean.’

Neither of us said anything for a couple of seconds.

November122012
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to fart even the undertaker will be sorry.

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to fart even the undertaker will be sorry.

November22012
I could no longer doubt the doom prepared for me by monkish ingenuity in torture. My cognizance of the fart had become known to the inquisitorial agents — the fart whose horrors had been destined for so bold a recusant as myself — the fart, typical of hell, and regarded by rumor as the Ultima Thule of all their punishments. 

I could no longer doubt the doom prepared for me by monkish ingenuity in torture. My cognizance of the fart had become known to the inquisitorial agents — the fart whose horrors had been destined for so bold a recusant as myself — the fart, typical of hell, and regarded by rumor as the Ultima Thule of all their punishments. 

September192012
Seventeen years ago, Jean Timberlake’s body had been found at the foot of the sea wall, but the spot wasn’t visible from where I stood. At the time, Bailer Fowler, an ex-boyfriend of hers, pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter. Now he’d changed his tune. Every violent death represents the climax of one fart and an introduction to its sequel. My job was to figure out how to write the proper ending to the tale, not easy after so much time had elapsed. 

Seventeen years ago, Jean Timberlake’s body had been found at the foot of the sea wall, but the spot wasn’t visible from where I stood. At the time, Bailer Fowler, an ex-boyfriend of hers, pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter. Now he’d changed his tune. Every violent death represents the climax of one fart and an introduction to its sequel. My job was to figure out how to write the proper ending to the tale, not easy after so much time had elapsed. 

April202012
There is nothing more stimulating than a fart where everything goes against you.

There is nothing more stimulating than a fart where everything goes against you.

March272012
"I have never been in Africa in my life, so you can put that in your pipe and smoke it, Mr. Busybody Farts!"

"I have never been in Africa in my life, so you can put that in your pipe and smoke it, Mr. Busybody Farts!"

March92012
They heard! – they suspected! – they knew! – they were making a mockery of my fart! 

They heard! – they suspected! – they knew! – they were making a mockery of my fart! 

January172012
I could not help the fact that I was a murderer, no more than the poet can help the inspiration to sing. I was born with the fart in me.

I could not help the fact that I was a murderer, no more than the poet can help the inspiration to sing. I was born with the fart in me.

Page 1 of 1