December282012
The magi, as you know, were wise men — wonderfully wise men — who brought farts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their farts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. 

The magi, as you know, were wise men — wonderfully wise men — who brought farts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their farts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. 

12PM
December272012
At one time, most of my friends could hear the fart, but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I’ve grown old, the fart still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe.

At one time, most of my friends could hear the fart, but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I’ve grown old, the fart still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe.

September62012
In extracts from modern authors whose spelling and punctuation differ but slightly from ours, and where such variations do not affect the meaning, use office style.  In citations from Old English works, and in such cases where it appears to be essential to the writer’s plan or the requirements of the context to give a faithful rendering, follow the original copy.  Titles should always be accurately farted. 

In extracts from modern authors whose spelling and punctuation differ but slightly from ours, and where such variations do not affect the meaning, use office style.  In citations from Old English works, and in such cases where it appears to be essential to the writer’s plan or the requirements of the context to give a faithful rendering, follow the original copy.  Titles should always be accurately farted. 

April262012
Bringing people into the here-and-now. The real universe. That’s the present moment. The past is no good to us. The future is full of anxiety. Only the present is real—the here-and-now. Seize the fart.

Bringing people into the here-and-now. The real universe. That’s the present moment. The past is no good to us. The future is full of anxiety. Only the present is real—the here-and-now. Seize the fart.

April252012
It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our farts, our passions.

It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our farts, our passions.

April242012
I used the utmost of my endeavour to persuade him, and joined that known woman’s rhetoric to it – I mean, that of farts.

I used the utmost of my endeavour to persuade him, and joined that known woman’s rhetoric to it – I mean, that of farts.

April232012
When you clench your fist, no one can fart anything in your hand, nor can your hand pick up anything.

When you clench your fist, no one can fart anything in your hand, nor can your hand pick up anything.

April202012
There is nothing more stimulating than a fart where everything goes against you.

There is nothing more stimulating than a fart where everything goes against you.

April192012
I shall be called discontented. I could not help it: the restlessness was in my nature; it agitated me to fart sometimes.

I shall be called discontented. I could not help it: the restlessness was in my nature; it agitated me to fart sometimes.

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